On a more upbeat note…
Where to start, how many times have I tried to write this story? Coming up with a gimmick to start the story, has both advantages and disadvantages.
I could start with: A member of the female persuasion came into my life in April, 2012. I instantly fell in love with her, my heart being captured in a way I’ve never felt before nor imagined – but that would be stretching the truth a little bit, since it wasn’t love at first sight, but a gradual love that has kept increasing as the weeks and months went by.
hhmm…let’s try a different tact and skip the gimmick: Some of you may know, I do not have children of my own (see footnote later). When I met Gail (my ex-wife) in 1989, she was divorced and didn’t have any children of her own. Instead she had a (bratty) 10 yr old nephew and (very sweet) 8 yr old niece. The two of them were her universe and they then became a big part of my life. But, during the eleven years Gail and I were together, the two of us didn’t desire to have children of our own, and because of this, I missed out on the experience of raising a child from birth. Ok, that’s more like it.
On the other hand, even though I didn’t have kids of my own, after meeting Rose 14 years ago, I had a hand in semi-raising (in her words) “her tribe of three boys” for a few years. The youngest at the time, Reece, was 6, with the middle boy (Jordan) being 11. Over the intervening years, I’ve seen these three young boys become young men, but again, never, ever had the chance to be a part of a family with a newborn child.
This all changed in the fall of 2011, I had a contract, working for Century Link in Orlando, flying down there and back on a weekly basis. While I was down there one week, Rose was driving Jordan to an appointment (his car was being repaired). During this car ride, he shares the following: “Mom, my GF is pregnant.” Once Rose recovered getting the car off the road’s shoulder, and back onto the road, she becomes overjoyed (not!). But, let ’s move ahead 7 months to April, 2012. Jordan and Katie, in their first defining moment together, give birth to a Beautiful Baby Girl, Lailah Marie.
This is why I’m writing this story today, prior to two and a half years ago, I had no desire to be a parent, or any desire to be a part of any baby’s life. Let me share this with you, since I had moved out of state when I was 24, I believe most of my cousins hadn’t yet had any children of their own and I had held a baby in my arms only a few times in my life – and only for a few minutes each of those times.
In fact, a lot of people were concerned during Katie’s pregnancy about how “Big B” would react to having a baby/kid around. Honestly, at that time I didn’t know myself how I felt about having a baby in my life. But I know Rose’s family was more concerned than I was.
So, where was I? Oh yeah, Lailah Marie (“Lou”) came into the world in April, 2012, and into my universe. Ok, that didn’t happen right away of course, since to tell you the truth, I really wasn’t impressed and didn’t see the big deal was, that first day we saw her in the hospital with Katie and Jordan. In fact, I thought she looked like one of those alien beings from outer space (actually, these words came from Rose – and they weren’t regarding Lailah – it was something she came up with recently describing “all babies” when first born – Sorry, Rose, I had to put this in, since I think it was truly a very funny comment coming from you – lol).
As a few week passed, and the baby started coming over to our house on a regular (weekly) basis and we started accumulating stuff in our spare bedroom that a baby needs – baby clothes, toys, a thing to help her take her first baby steps, etc. I learn finally (at age 53), how to change a diaper. I now wish I had kept a journal and wrote down the changes we saw in her as she started growing up, of the new sounds we would hear, of the new words that come out of her mouth, of the things she says to us – making us laugh out loud, laughing at her, laughing WITH her. She is such a CUTIE!
I have to back up here – When I was in my early twenties, I was still in Detroit, and a co-worker and his wife just had their first baby. He shared a story with me at that time, which I didn’t understand then and privately made fun of it, and I now have to apologize to this nice fellow (in case he’s reading this). He and his wife had a nickname for their baby daughter and they had to stop using it since the baby girl was now beginning to understand the meaning of some words. What was their nickname for their daughter? it was “The Best!”. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now, since Lailah has the EXACT SAME nickname!
Ok, back to present day, I’ve now had Lailah in my life for more than 2 years now, and SHE IS NOW MY Universe. She is so special – and up until 2 years ago, I didn’t know how much joy a baby could bring into my life. We get to see her about once a week, usually we babysit her overnight on Fridays and have her most of the day on Saturday’s (and earlier we would also have her on a weeknight as well). Did I lose sleep during those nights she was over – having to change her or feed her – you betcha – did I mind? No F’ing way. In fact, I would sleep next to her as much as possible, and watch her sleep, making sure she was covered, and safe, and everything else.
Early on, that first Christmas with Lailah, there are pictures of me reading to Lailah. There are pictures of me laying down beside her as she naps, with sappy grins on my face. This is not my kid and in fact, she is not biologically related to me, but she IS my kid (my grandkid). I would do ANYTHING for her. She then starts to walk – and – eventually she starts – believe it or not – to talk. OMG. First, it’s one word here or there, then she starts learning her numbers and starts reciting the alphabet – next thing you know, she’ll be learning JAVA, next year. (Of course, in the interest of space and time, I’m skipping a lot of the stuff that has happened during these last 2 yrs).
I guess this is the most important part: one day, she said: “Granpa” to me – TO ME! After a period of time, she started to learn some people had two names, and she starts to say, “Granpa Brian…”.
But, the most, most important quote from Lailah of them all? It was “I love you, Granpa Brian”.
We have a park within walking distance of our home, and it’s become a weekly ritual/tradition for Granpa Brian to take her to the park this past summer/fall, so we can go on the swings, on the slides, and just plain have some fun.
THE MOST important part of her being in my life: I walk in the door (when she’s already in our home, and I’m just getting home from work), or at her house, picking her up for the evening, and she RUNS up to me, saying: “Granpa Brian, I’ve missed you”, and gives me this huge (I SAY HUGE), loving hug, holding me close to her. Who knew three years ago I would fall in love with this baby girl named Lailah?
I know, all you parents out there, are shaking your heads at this story. Yeah, I’m a dope, who knew? Yeah, I was
Thank you, Katie, thank you, Jordan for allowing me to become Lailah’s Granpa.
p.s., over the past 30 months, I’ve taken a few thousand pictures of Lailah (yes, thousands). The majority of the 80 pictures I’m posting today are selfies of her and myself.
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Footnote: When I was 41, I learned I had a 17 year old daughter (in Michigan). Elyse will be 30 years old this year. Since this story is about Lailah, I want to defer talking about Elyse for now, but will share a story about Elyse soon.
