“Abomination”
I so much dislike that word.
As in:
“Deuteronomy chapter 22 verse 5. Read your bible everyone. The whole transgender issue is an abomination in the eyes of God.”
Someone who I love with all my heart recently “liked” the above FB posting quote.
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I moved away from my hometown when I was just twenty four, and therefore, have not been a part of this person’s life since that time. Because of FB, and other fairly recent circumstances, we have since become “close”, possibly a bit more closer than we were when we were younger. But, “closeness” due to FB is not the same as real closeness as when you are living near them such that you see them on a frequently basis (daily, weekly or even monthly). Seeing them once every few years does not make you close to them. Interacting them with via FB doesn’t truly make us close either.
They are good people – they have a good heart inside of them. I so much want to be closer to them, to visit and see them, to talk to them on the phone – in order for me to better understand them, in order for them to better understand me, for them to perhaps understand the world has changed and is changing, to help them see the world is constantly changing.
This person was there for my mom when I wasn’t able to be with my mom. They might even have been one of my mom’s best friends when my mom grew old with age, and needed to be cared for. They was there, to visit with her, to keep her company, to ensure my mom didn’t feel alone in this world as she got older. For that, I am tremendously grateful. I love this person with all my heart. I cannot tell you how much love I have for them in my heart.
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I perhaps can understand why this person “liked” that posting. They are ~ten yrs older than me (but still part of the baby boomer generation). I believe they were brought up Baptist, and they are a devout Christian, and I believe they have always attended church, even to this day they attend church. They have (I believe) a faith and belief in God that I never have had.
I understand that the Baptist Church has issue with people that are “different”. I understand that some Christians have issue with people who are “different” and that some Christians have been “taught” this mentality all their life – the mentality that people have to “conform” to an image of what is “right” in the word of God, what is “right” because of a book written hundreds, if not a thousand or more years ago. A time when the world’s population was measured in thousands (or perhaps millions), but nowhere near the seven billion (different and unique) souls in this earth now.
Because I’ve not lived near them for most of my entire life, I really don’t know anything about their life experiences. I know they held a job and had a career. I know they had children and their children now have children.
What I don’t know is whether they ever have had the experience of being friends with a gay person, or having a work colleague who was gay, or having a gay member in their family.
The posting/quote at the beginning of this post is about transgender people, but I’m using gays as the analogy.
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More than twenty five years ago, I became coworkers with a gentleman, the same age as me. I was new to the Twin Cities and he befriended me, and we began to do things together, we became close, close enough that when his landlord sold the home where he was living at the time, forcing him to quickly find a new place to live, I invited him to become my roommate. We eventually became close enough that I asked him to be my best man at my wedding twenty years ago. He is a wonderful man, he is sweet and kind, and has many more friends in his life than I do, but he still makes time in his busy life and career for us to get together every couple of months to have dinner together and talk, and for us to share what’s going on in our lives, etc. I love him and accept him. I do not see a gay man, I see a friend, one of two best friends that I have in this world.
I met Rick a little bit more than a year after meeting Kelsey, during my first week working in a new department. Like Kelsey, I wasn’t aware of Rick being “gay”. In fact, it took several months before Rick shared his sexuality with me. Before he came “out” to me, we had already become friends, and had started hanging out with each other. He’s been a part of my life now for more than twenty five years. I also love him – he is a very dear friend. Once again, I don’t see a gay man. I see a best friend who just happens to be gay.
Neither of these two men, gay men, have ever “come on” to me. Why would they? They know I’m not gay. They know I like women. They have never tried to convince me to become gay. Why would they? It’s not something that a person can change. They know that. I know that. They accept me, I accept them. I love them, because I like their personalities, their charm, their wit, their intelligence. And, lot of other qualities. I don’t like them because of their sexuality, I like them because they make me smile, they make me laugh, or they just listen to me when I need someone to talk to, or, because they like hanging around with me. It is as simple as that.
So, if I can accept having people in my life who are gay, I will also accept people who are transgender.
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I don’t believe I know of any transgender friends in my life, but, if a friend of mine introduced me to a transgender person, I wouldn’t think anything of it. If I took a new job, and found myself working along side of a transgender person, again, I don’t believe I would have issue with them.
I’m not afraid that somehow they will brainwash me into becoming transgender.
Get real. No one chooses to be transgender.
It is not their “choice” to be transgender. They did not “choose” to be transgender. In fact, if it was a “choice” why would ANYONE make that choice? Why would ANYONE want the grief, the dislike, the hate that comes from those who do not understand transgender?
Do you really think there are people out there who say to themselves: “Self, I think I want to be female now, dam those torpedoes, who cares if I get bullied, who cares if I get punched or beat up?” No, there is not one person on this earth who makes that kind of decision. Transgender people aren’t making a “decision” or “choice”, they are who they are.
While the majority of human beings are heterosexual, while the majority of human beings are the gender that matches their genitals, there also are human beings that aren’t heterosexual, as well as human beings that feel their body parts do not match with what they feel in their heart and think in their brain.
This does not make them non-humans.
This does not make them “ABOMINATIONS”.
God, I really hate that awful word.
[as an aside, do you really think God would EVER use that word to refer to any of his creations? I don’t think so.]My last few thoughts.
First, gays and transgender – were CREATED by (your) God. They were not created by Satan. Only God has the ability to create life. If God can create a baby with a mental or physical disability and you can still accept that baby, if God can create a baby with Down’s Syndrome or autism, and you can accept that baby, and show them love and show them understanding, you could try, just try to realize that “these abominations” are as human as you, and also deserve our love and support and everything else we give to so-called “normal” people.
There was a time not too long ago when we shunned mentally challenged children/adults, there was a time when we shunned children born with Down’s Syndrome, where we institutionalized autistic children, or worse, gave them lobotomies. There was even a time when we lynched people who were not the “right” color, when we beat people and hated people of the “wrong” color, calling them awful names, belittling them, making them sit in separate sections on the bus, making them use a different drinking fountain, making them use different restrooms, because supposedly “they’re dirty”.
We have (slowly) overcome prejudice, with people of color, with people of mental or physical disabilities. It’s taken decades for us to learn that “blacks” are not the enemy, but are the same as us. They are now our neighbors in our neighborhood, our colleagues at work, and guess what, they are as human as the rest of us. [and, for some of us, we are now related to them by marriage, because we have opened our minds enough to learn that our sons or daughters can actually love a person who is a different color than themselves.]
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We are, again, slowly overcoming our prejudice, this time, with gays, and we had a truly historic moment last year with the nation recognizing that love conquers all, and women can love and now marry women, and men can love and now marry men.
Gays have been and are our neighbors, and they have been and are our work colleagues, they were always around – but, because of prejudice and hate, they had to “hide” their true self from us – because, at one time, people hated them, hated them so much that we bullied them, and beat them, and sometimes, even killed them. This hatred is slowly going away, because more and more people are now understanding that being gay isn’t a choice (kinda like finally realizing the color of one’s skin isn’t a “choice” and shouldn’t really matter to anyone.)
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Transgender people – their time is coming, it may take some more time, but, I predict that one day (whether it be in five years or heaven forbid, fifty years), we will (soon) love them, as we love the rest of human kind.
One of my last thoughts on this topic is this:
If your adult child came to you to tell you they were gay, if your grandson came to you and told you they thought their brain was telling them they were a girl, when they had boy parts, would you really look at them and say:
“My gosh, Brian, I don’t know who you are anymore, you are such an abomination, you disgust me, you are not my child/grandson, please leave our family, stay far, far away from me, you just might be contagious”
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I personally don’t think you would say that to them – someone who just prior to that conversation you had shown unconditional love toward them for all of their life. I also personally don’t think that God would like hearing those words come from you – since the thing that was always drilled into me as a kid growing up while going to church three times a week, was, “God loves each and everyone of us”. No matter the color of your skin, born rich or poor, smart or dumb.
Lastly, this book that people go by (the bible) to find their moral compass – it was written by men, not by God (yes, maybe at God’s direction). But, did you ever think, these men, the apostles, were just like us, capable of making mistakes? Capable of understanding God’s love, but maybe, just maybe, not being able to get past their own prejudices – not God’s prejudices, but their own? Do you really think God used the word “Abomination”, or do you think maybe a man, just like you and me, wrote that word, because he (the apostle) himself couldn’t understand homosexuality, didn’t understand why a man would want to dress like a woman?
I ask this, since I know, in my heart and in my head, an all loving God would be loving to all human beings – including those that were different in any aspect.
I’m not trying to change the mind of the person I noted in the beginning of this post. I still love them and still care for them a great deal, and will always love them. Besides, it’s not up to me to try to change them. If anything, this person’s adult children and their children will be the only ones to help them become more accepting of people who “don’t fit the norm”.
In fact, this is how and why gays (and blacks), are accepted now more than they were fifty years ago, because it’s the newer generations that are opening their own minds that all men and women are created equal, not just whites, not just heterosexuals, but everyone. Gays are now being accepted for who they are. And, someday, this will, eventually, include transgender people.
Change is coming – it always does. It won’t occur within the next few months, it’ll take years, just like it did for blacks, for the mentally disadvantaged, for gays. It’ll take this latest generation to overcome this, but slowly, we will eventually understand and accept and come to love transgender people.
Thank you for reading this post.
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I welcome comments and feedback. Please note, this posting is not about “restroom policy” (therefore: do not comment on that), this post is about tolerance, acceptance, and love for all people, not just the ones you think are “right” in God’s eyes.
